I had a weekend of contemplation and through a series of events, I had some deep realizations that I will share with you.

It started on Thursday. My husband and I have been watching a lot of Scottish TV, and I was drawn to look up the guy I dated before my husband. He's Scottish, very smart, extremely outspoken, and a great writer! We both watched an interview with him on YouTube over breakfast on Friday.

I looked at my YouTube and I felt totally inadequate! My husband was away all weekend and I was just with myself.

Next up!

I decided to listen to the recording of my speaking group I'd missed - it was about being on purpose.

I stopped in my tracks when the word purpose came up! I turned it off in the middle after the word purpose!

I went to sleep, then went really deep into myself, my work, my life!

I spent all day Saturday in reflection.

I realized over the course of the last year I've spent so much time on my website, the classes I'm taking (which I love), and not much time on fun and socializing with the ones I love and my friends.

What came out of this weekend was that I have to be an embodiment of what I'm teaching!

I committed to redefine my work schedule.

To take more time doing the other things that I love to do. 

I’m sharing this because:

Even with the best intentions, we become kind of lukewarm in our commitment to our dreams. They start off very empowered and focused, but without reevaluation, we fall back into the old patterns and it's often not conscious! It's so subtle.

When my husband got home Sunday evening, he was folding a blanket and he said "oh that'll do."

Another trigger!

It brought up the script that many in my family and culture used as I was growing up.

"I can't be bothered" - another one! A huge one for me!

Those scripts shaped me into always doing the very best I could!

Sometimes that best was just getting up and functioning, especially when I got divorced in 1995.

At times as a single mum, I would sleep in my spare room on a Saturday night as I felt like I was on vacation from my responsibilities. I'd read magazines, lounge, and stay in bed relaxing. It was so rejuvenating!

So... I did realize: I AM COURAGEOUS!

I recommitted to myself. What does that look like?

• Eating better
• More dancing
• More boundaries with work hours
• More time doing fun things 

I reevaluated what I wanted to accomplish with my website and classes.

I clarified my purpose again! I am only interested in helping those who are ready to make changes now! Ready to let go of the past and live their dreams. I'm not interested in lots of followers and lots of clients (I have been there, done that).

My focus when I redid my website was to share my gifts and knowledge with those who REALLY want to make changes NOW!

That's brought me back to my work after eight years of looking after my mom.

That's what propelled me to redo my website and redesign the way I work.

Somehow over the course of the last couple of months, I became lukewarm (it's the only way I can say it).

On Sunday morning, I finished listening to the webinar that I had stopped abruptly. It was so beautiful and so on purpose with what I was feeling and experiencing.

I bring this to your attention because we all do this to ourselves!

Even with the best intentions, we must redefine, reevaluate, and recommit to ourselves first, our passions, our dreams, and the life we desire to live.

I'm excited again! I'm recommitted to myself, I'm happy to be vulnerable, authentic, courageous.

I am the embodiment of what I'm teaching and sharing! (Again)

It's an amazing journey and I'm back on purpose! Are you?